Still

I stare at nothing

My mouth is dry and my lips feel odd,

My breathing is out of sync,

There are ants beneath my skin –

But I sit still and let them make their way to my heart.

I feel exhausted

But I want to do something exciting,

I want my body to run and feel that rush of blood screaming through my veins,

But the hopelessness that I’m feeling has its fingers around my throat,

So I let my body ease into an unforgiving slump and stay still.

The music that sings around me seems to get louder,

Its beat more abusive

Its lyrics more fierce,

My fingers freeze on the keyboard as I bite down on my already bruised lip,

I won’t say anything anymore, 

I've said too much already 

I'm unsure of how close to edge of the pit I am;

But I think I’m ready to fall.