Exploding Supernovas

I learn to space my days out

based on the way we talk

the way you smile and the way I swoon,

but night passes

and the days grow colder and shorter

but I pass them staring out of the window

or writing words that make no sense to anyone else,

bring me the night

give me less life

feed me more dreams

let me pretend to have a smile for you,

even if I’m dying inside.

I’ll still dance around my room

singing quietly along with the song that cries in my heart,

let’s write a story

one line each

one page at a time,

where’s the sense in writing the last page before the first?

Let’s do this with each gathering breath,

one step at a time,

one naïve mistake that haunts me forever,

there are some days I wish I had that naivety back in my palms,

it might help me bury this doubt away

but I’ve got to let that go,

I’ve got to smile and pretend that everything’s okay,

once you’ve done something for a while it becomes normal.

I can do this

I can be who I am

and you won’t hold me back from that,

I’m an exploding supernova in the everlasting space that surrounds this world,

I am the stars in this galaxy and every other galaxy out there,

my smiles might be fake but my heart isn’t,

I don’t have time for your black and white opinions anymore,

no I’m going to stay in the grey area,

the colourful semi darkness it spreads like a disease in the Milky Way,

I’m doing fine losing my breath running after these comets,

I can barely even see you from behind these shining lights

that fly like fairies past my laughing mouth,

you’re like the ghost of these shadows on my hands

and even though everyone tells me to not wish you the best

I will because honestly,

you deserve to catch the stars too.