Fault?

It takes a moment for the situation to sink in,

but it sinks in too far and I can feel it – all of it – cling to my bones,

you were my first point of call once,

my first morning text and smile of ‘good morning, hello’.

but things changed,

they always do,

but I can’t help that;

it isn’t my fault,

so stop blaming me

stop blaming me,

I’ve done no wrong.

You just don’t understand,

you won’t understand,

not until your time comes.

You asked me jokingly once to not forget you,

but there was a seriousness in your tone that you couldn’t quite hide,

but quite frankly I was offended,

I couldn’t forget you even if I tried.

Even now looking back,
I shudder at the memories 
but I never forgot 
how could I forget the abuse and the hate? 
How could I forget being used and tossed aside?
And the way you asked me to die

How could I forget that?