Lonely and Alone

Wrapped up in cosy fabrics that should keep me warm

I gaze out across the hallowed room

I’m alone and I feel lonely

but lonely is such a relative term,

I feel lonely when I see a couple in the street,

if I happen to see them meet.

I feel lonely when I hear the cackles of laughter echoing through the night,

my chest tightens and I feel colder inside,

they’re having fun without me tonight

but every night

I feel lonely when I talk to you,

and you have no idea,

I’m silent and I'm trying
just please, please  just listen to me, 

I’m weary of feeling lonely

I’m sick of being me.

You lie and mimic and I wonder just how much you believe,

you’re not lonely,

not at all,

or rather you’re a different lonely to me.

The pleasure of my own company is starting to fade,

there’s only so many of my own jokes I can laugh at

only so many I can make,

I’m alone in my mind,

in body

and in soul –

there’s no way to change that,

not until I allow the darkness to seep in,

I know that darkness will leave me empty 
with lifeless eyes and scorched skin

I’m alone in this room

in this cell that surrounds me,

I can never leave the carved walls that confine me,

my words are scratched into its surface 
blood of my fingers
blood on the wall

Why won’t you listen? 
why don’t you hear?
why does everyone leave me?

Why can’t I be happy?

I’m scared, like all those souls before me,

unable to whisper the words that I need to say the most,

the simplest most difficult thing;

help me save myself 
please, why won't anyone help me?

I’m lonely and alone and you’ve left me too.