What am I doing wrong?

The lamp shade sways as the wind rolls in through my window,

The light tremors like it would in a horror movie

But I remain where I am,

Leaning on my pillows in agitated defeat,

I cannot save you

When I am unable to save myself,

But I’ll try,

With all my being and my heart

I will try.

Then I’ll try and save myself,

Attempt to make things right within me,

Be a great daughter

A brilliant person,

Someone that people want to know.

But no one wants to really know me,

People are nosy sure

But when they find out certain facts it’s like they evaporate into the air,

They’re gone

And I’m left with the mess of their departure,

I’m left with the crash of my heart thumping against my chest.

What am I doing wrong?

I ask myself,

What could I do better?

I’ve come to terms with who I am now,

Haven’t I?

So why can’t others?

Why can’t people accept differences in their fellow beings?

Why is who I am never enough for them to want to remain by my side?

As a friend, a father, a whatever they happen to be,

Why must I be left behind in a flurry of snakes that snap at my heels?

Why?

Why?

Why?