Fire and Ice and All Things Nice

I like fire

I like how it devours its surroundings,

I like how it lights up the cigarettes they hold so delicately.

It’s a poison that keeps spreading through my veins,

I’m on fire inside I scream

I’m dying inside I yell

And with their trained ears they choose not to hear,

I can’t breathe I whisper

And as if in synchronization they all turn away.

I like the icy coldness nestled in the air,

I like how it circles me

Follows me

Walks with me like a friend,

I like how it’s like fire

I like how I’ve been burned simply because I reached out to touch.

It’s comforting knowing that I won’t reach out again

Fearing the icy burn that zigzags across my chest.

I like how people forget me

Even if I’m standing right there,

I like how people regret me –

That’s a lie I know

I like how I’m second best to everyone,

I like how the more I exclude myself

The louder the voice in my head becomes,

It chuckles at all of my sordid attempts

And pushes me back into the darkness

Where the fires burn black and the ice grows and grows.

I’m cold

So cold.